I recently took time to examine my motivations for my everyday actions. I have strong beliefs regarding the way things should be done, and I started to think about the word ‘should’ and how it applies to almost everything I do.
Most of the things I say I ‘should’ be doing, I do not feel I have a choice about. I am driven to do things because of fear, or a sense of morality. I don’t ‘choose’ to do certain things, but I am constrained to do them because I am afraid of what will happen if I don’t.
Having a strong feeling that I ‘should’ do something means I have given up my choice in the matter in favor of fear or some moral code. Sometimes this makes me feel that I am not the owner of my life, that I am living the life of someone I do not even know.
I sat down to make a list of things I ‘should’ accomplish in my life. As the list grew, I realized that almost all of my goals are driven by this feeling of ‘should’. I am driven by fear, not my own self expression.
No wonder I am stressed at the end of each day! I get so caught up in what I ‘should’ do that I lose sight of what I want to accomplish. Simply doing as I ‘should’ becomes the ultimate goal, rather than financial security, happiness or simply the joy of being ME.
I want to drive my life, not be driven by it. I want to do things with the intent of accomplishing my goals, not simply because I ‘should’ do them.
I’m not sure what I ‘should’ do next, but I know what I will choose to do. I will drive this feeling of ‘should’ rather than let it drive me. I will choose my actions, not be forced to them through fear. I will accept my life the way it is, love each and every day, and do things because I want to, for the joy they give me, and because I CAN, not because I should.
